6 February 2010
at 12:28 AM
Such kismet that on this day, only my second in possession of a blog, I should come across a most unusual missive!
Circa 6 pm. I am just chillin’ at the Starbucks in the midtown Barnes and Noble (don’t ask) skimming my new purchases– Michael Pollan’s Food Rules and the fatty new Warren Beatty bio–when I notice an unassuming, handwritten business card resting atop the formica.
I am a single white male, 45 years old, 5′ 9″ tall, who wants to give oral sex to a woman, age 18 to 59, any race, ethnicity, nationality, religion. I want to satisfy your carnal lust by giving you powerful orgasms.
[ed note: I can provide you with his name and number upon request.]
I want so many things in this world. But not oral sex from a socially progressive (ANY religion or ethnicity, he says) 45 year old who advertises at the midtown Barnes and Noble. But, egged on by Audrey, I dial his number (although not before pressing *67. Who has two thumbs and watches Law and Order: SVU? This guy!) After a ring and a half, the expectant voice of a decidedly middle-aged man… Immediate hangup. Don’t know what my plan was once he answered– I think I just want to see if he sounds pranky, or evil. Neither, and I admire the DIY/grassroots nature of his advertising campaign.
In related news, locking picture on Tiny Furniture this coming Wednesday. Just need to tweak a few things, run it by the trusted ones (the Couvs, Kyle M., Jody Lee, Mom) and then forever hold my peace/piece.
oh man. i do the same thing on the bus, except without the sex. it’s just my website and some doodle, maybe my cell, sometimes just art. especially if i see a lovely devotchka, and she’s not coming up to me, then i’ll frantically make a business card and leave it on an empty seat. they never pick it up. i really don’t want them to. i just like watching the mise-en-scene, then the randomness of what happens to it after i get off the bus (Schrödinger’s cat). the sex part i like to save for outright flash mobs, or as in most (all) cases i’m solo, so it’s more like, just a flash, i guess.
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